what the ... ?!

ukh ...
those lies of mine just revealed. so sad. my friends mad at me. no wonder.
well, it IS my own fault. so... i guess it's ok.
huh .
why am i so dum ?!
trying to live, but not for love.
hate love, but wanted to beloved.
am i stupid or what ?!?
and also ...
i think i becoming more 'rough' these days. saying those things like F**K or S**T. now, those words is like an ordinary words for me.
aaahhh !!!
dunno. i'm too tired, too take care soo many thing by myself . in the short time too.
i just wanna freedom !!! i just wanna live for myself !! not for others !!!!!!
but ... isn't that to selfish ????
and i'm ended up need other people too ......