i'm back :p

i'm back to blogger. missed me? surely no, hahah =.=
i'll post many things later, so watch out XP

bye for now, will be back ^^
ja ne~

DON'T F*CK WITH ME

ahahahaa keep talking bullshits people!!
yeaaaa bla bla bla and i won't listen to you!!!

DON'T FUCK WITH ME !!!!!!!!

again ......

never thought that she will be back ...
this soon at least ....
how scary ...
i can't let myself to be weak anymore. everytime i'm starting to get weak, she's trying to get out and controlled me.
this time, i'm almost get into her trick. i'm almost did , replaying what happened in the past .
this is bad.
i'm scared.
so scared.
she's the dark side of me.
she's me.
but she has more power and control than i do.
i'm weak, and she's strong.
i'm good, and she's bad.
what should i do?
i can't let myself to get controlled by her. i can't let it happened. again...
i don't want to ... come back to that dark past .
too scary to look back .

I'M SCREAMING INSIDE !!!!!

orang tua gue bawel abis !!!
uda bagus gue naek kelas !!! masih marah2in gaje sgala !!
banding2in gue ma diri sndiri n tmen2 pula !!! malu malu malu !! sory, gue gga malu !!! yg pnting gue lulus !!!

n skrg appa?
pindahin gue k skolah yg BERMUTU ??? masukkin k TMPAT LES ???? cabut INTERNET ???
PISAHIN GUE DARI DEADHYUENITH ?????

TERSERAH !!!!!
BAWEL BANGET SI LO SMUA !!!!!!!

dlu bilang nya gga mau gue nyelin 3 taun d SMP !!
skrg mlh bilang mo mindahin !!!!

tiap hari nyuruh gue maksa2 !!!!
maksud LO appa ni ??!!

SUMPAH GUE PNGEN KLUAR DR RUMAH NI !!!!!!

dasaarr PLAYBOY ASU !!!

anjeeeeenggg !! tu cowo NYEBELIN SANGAATT !!!!!
berani2.a bkn sahabat gue berantem nangis n patah hati !!! taeeeeee !!
mna gga ngerasa uda brkali2 bkn DEADHYUENITH hampir ANCUR !!!!!
ANJINXXXX !!!!!
lo pkir mnta mav ajja ckp ?? NGAREP LO !!!
lo mesti NUNDUK MINTA MAAF k smua DEADHYUENITH n cewe2 lo !!!!!!!!!!

gue gga ngerti knp CHA ma DY bs suka ma cowo ANJING kea DIA !!!!
appa bguz.a jg cowo PLAYBOY macam dia ????

ASU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i just wanna .... SCREAM !!!!

man, f*ck with this life !!
this world just a boredom full of lies, tears and suffers for me! jeez, suck off!!
aarrghh !!
i dunno what's wrong with me, always in bad mood mode these days. sigh...
but i'm not on my period. so...?? what exactly happening to me?! AAAAARGH!!!

my family are sooo NOISY , keep telling me this-that and bla bla bla ....
my friends are sooo STUPID , get in a fight just because of STUPID BOYS!! its not like he's the only boy in the world isn't it?!
my sister are sooo ANNOYING , who is she think she is?! with her queena attitude!! jeez! you even borrowed money from ME!!
my net friends are sooo SILLY , always ask me what happened or always disturbed me even when i show the busy stats!! STUPID!!!
he is the STUPIDEST BOY EVER !! make me waited this long! aargh!! i am always wait for you, but not like this!! i'm tired of waiting too!! you even not there when i need you!! DAMN!!

and the worst...
I'M SO STUPID THAT I CRIED SO MUCH FOR WEEKS JUST FOR SOMETHING THAT'S NOT MY BUSSINES!!!!!

now, I JUST WANNA SCREAM OUT LOUD !!!!!!!!!!!!!

too many tears i dropped...now...can i able to smile?

uda lama ngga ngisi blog ,, byk yg trjadi ..
mungkin agak lebay, dilebih2in dan pko.a gitu lah, tp bner kq...
pelan2 ya crita.a .....

abz putus dr AYA, skrg mulai dket lg sm EZR. hmpir tiap hari telpon2an. tp skrg lg marahan sih (sepihak, cm gue doank. palingan jg dy gga pduli). huft...
pas UAS, brjuang sebisa mungkin, tp hasil.a antara ngga jelek dan ngga bagus alias...rata-rata lah... hampir dtiap mata pelajaran dpt peringkat 20-an diantara 40 siswa. itu jelek ppa bagus? haha.

skrg lg ngga mikirin pelajaran, cinta ataupun mslh keluarga. krna di pikiran cm ada VI, DEV dan RA sendiri....
dari cerita VI, DEV jg pacaran sm BRG, tman mrka d LUNATIC. emg itu nma.a selingkuh, atau ngeduain. tp DEV ngga tulus sm BRG, krna jadian sm BRG itu terpaksa. DEV cm cnta sm VI dan hanya VI. pas smua.a uda mulai membaik lg, VI dtmbak sm cowo d FS nma.a MRC. wkt tu, VI lgsg diskusi k DEV,, DEV mlh blg spaya terima MRC aja. VI jelas2 bingung dan nolak. tp DEV mlh mrh dan ngancem VI, klo VI ngga terima MRC, DEV bkal ikt BRG k singapura. akhirnya VI terima MRC, tp ngga serius.
pas diceritain VI, jlas2 ra marah, kecewa, sedih, down. rsa.a jth dr jurang. knp? knp nii-sama mlh ngebolehin? trz knp VI jg mlh lbih akrab ma MRC skrg? gga cm MRC, VI mkn dket ma org2 yg ngga ra knal. rsa.a smakin jauh dan jauh.......
gara2 UAS, ra gbs OL smentara. pas balik, entah apa yg trjadi, kea.a hubungan mrka (VI-DEV) mndingin. VI jd kliatan sriuz ma MRC. apa-apaan?! pas ra tnya, mrka membantah. DEV blg masih cnta sm VI, dan VI blg jg ngga sriuz ma MRC. tp knp...?
bbrp hr kmudian, VI kasih kabar buruk k ra. kta.a,, "klo mau tau, liat comment2 vi ma dev ya!". tp knp dy ceria bgt? kabar buruk knp mlh ceria? apa mksd.a??
akhirnya ra cari....dan......isinya....DEV...ditolak VI.
apa artinya? mksd.a? apa-apaan?! mrka putus?!!? knp?! dlm skejap, sgalanya ilang dr kepala. yg ada cm perasaan kacau, sedih, kaget, marah.......
mlm itu, air mata ra tumpah. uda ngga bs ditahan lg...smua.a uda kluar...
knp smua jd begini?
akhirnya smua berakhir, tnpa ra bs mlakukan apa2. sbner.a, ra itu apa d pikiran mrka? apa bner ra itu shbt mrka? krna ra anggap mrka sangat sangat penting dan berharga...tp...apa mrka ngga anggap ra spt itu?
klo bs putar blk wktu, ra ingin kmbali k masa2 wkt qta bertiga masih chat smbil ktawa2 bareng,, curhat2an,, hal2 yg menyenangkan....
apa itu harapan yg ngga bisa terwujud lg?

finally I lose you......
if I can turn back time, I want to go back to times when the three of us still together.
I miss you...so much....
with these tears, I pray...wishing for you two, come back to me....